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A Bride’s Guide to Caring for the Mother of the Groom

The wedding date is set and your plans as a Bride-To-Be are well under way. There is so much to do and it often feels like an impossible task to accomplish it all in time for your big day. The to-do lists are growing rather than shrinking, but you are determined not to forget anything. Venue, cake, flowers, invitations, vows, bridal party, dress, maid’s gifts, honeymoon plans, hair, weight, music, dance, gift registry, the Internet is full of checklists that will help you plan a day to remember for the rest of your life.

But there is one item that many of the advice books and websites do not discuss very much. What about the MOG or the mother of the groom? She is often given a short, ending paragraph regarding how she should wear something that compliments the mother of the bride’s dress and that is it. Traditionally, the groom’s parents have little to do with the planning of the wedding because they do not contribute to it financially, beyond the Rehearsal Dinner. Very often the mother and father of the groom-to-be do not live in the same state or area as the wedding couple, so this adds another obstacle to feeling involved in the great family celebration.

This could be a lovely opportunity to reach out to your future mother-in-law and set some good groundwork for the relationship ahead. The mom of your husband-to-be will be in your life for a very long time and she feels as anxious and excited about the marriage of her son as your mother does about you. Her heart is nervous, thrilled and has a touch of sadness about the ways her relationship with her son may change. Keep this in mind as you plan your wedding and consider these ideas for caring for the MOG:

•    Try to keep the MOG informed with any wedding related news at the same time as you tell the mother of the bride.

•    Ask her for pictures of the groom to use at the reception. She will enjoy the task.

•    Let your MOG know the length and style of the MOB’s dress as soon as possible.

•    Send her pictures of the planning outings, such as the cake testing or the wedding dress shopping.

•    If you are overwhelmed and worried about remembering her in the plans; choose a good friend who can oversee the care of your MOG. Let her remind you to reach out to the MOG and be a bridge between you two as the plans are made.

•    An out-of-town family-of-the-groom will not know how to get around your city, where the restaurants are or how to find the wedding venue
 
•    Plan some light entertainment for them before the rehearsal dinner. Sitting in a hotel room or being shuffled out of the way at the MOB’s home will only add to nerves and a sense of being forgotten.

•    At the wedding itself, assign one of the groomsmen or a friend to be ready to assist the groom’s family, especially if they are coming from out of town for the weekend. They typically will not know as many of the wedding guests as you or your parents.

The mother of the groom raised your husband to be. She is worthy of your respect and honor. Use your wedding preparation as a time to build a beautiful and treasured relationship that will last a lifetime!